Mental Illness and the Stigma that Surrounds it.

Hey guys,

Because of the passing of Robin Williams just recently, there seems to be a countless number of ignorant comments all across the internet surrounding his depression and death by suicide. People just don't seem to get how someone who brought so many smiles to peoples' faces, someone who was loved by many, someone who had fame and riches, could possibly be so depressed. So I just wanted to put in my two cents about the subject as it is one that I feel strongly about, and also one that I feel needs quite a bit of discussion. This is going to be a long read people so I'm warning you in advance!

Personally, I think the stigma surrounding mental illness has a lot to do with the human ego. We don't like to choose to understand others because in many ways, it forces us to face something inside ourselves. If you think about it, we are all sick in one way or another. We are all battling our own inner demons. Just some of us battle worse demons than the rest of us, and most of us don't have to deal with having a label slapped on us as being "sick".

Now I'm not an expert when it comes to mental illness, but I don't believe you have to be to show people some love and understanding. All we really need to do is just look at ourselves and the way we feel pain to be able to catch a glimpse into what someone else may be feeling. Many of us just don't want to do this, and again, I think it's because we let our egos get in the way. Instead, we ridicule, we judge, we torment, we talk shit. Why? Because it makes us feel better about the shit we feel inside ourselves. I suppose it's human nature to do this, but it's VERY counterproductive. We all yearn for some love and understanding to help us battle those demons, so why is it so difficult for us to show it? I suppose belittling others is the easiest and quickest way for us to feel a bit of relief from our own problems, but it ALWAYS adds to the problem, never fixes it. We keep circling around only to find ourselves in the same spot as we started. 

I can't say that I suffer from major depression myself, but there was one point in my life a while back when I was so low that I did have scary suicidal thoughts. I even thought about how I was going to do it. Although, I never attempted to carry it through (thank goodness!), it's not difficult for me to imagine how much pain someone who is actually suffering from depression is going through...

Every.

Single.

Day.

For those of you who are fortunate enough not to have gone through such lows, just try and imagine the lowest point in your life, multiply that a few times, and think about how it would feel to have to fight those kinds of demons every day of your life. To have to put on a fake smile so the world doesn't judge you. It's easy to feel sympathy towards others when we do this. And it doesn't take too much effort. We just need to put our egos aside and deal with our own problems effectively without adding to anyone else's.

I wish I knew exactly why some people feel such terrible episodes of sadness. I suppose part of it is genetics, part of it is just the way we grow up. Either way, there's not really much of is that is initially in our control. There could be hundreds of reasons why, but we are in many ways, a product of our environment. Certain things we pick up when we are kids end up sticking with us for the rest of our lives, they become who we feel we are. This in one way or another explains why some people suffer more than others, why some people are more sensitive or cold than others. Why some people are twisted, even. How much of our childhood were we able to control? Not very much if you ask me. So how can anyone be blamed or ridiculed for the demons they battle? Some of us grow wiser and are fortunate enough to realize that there are things we can do to change our thought patterns, but most of us just stay the same.

Nobody is to blame (no, not even our parents). And that's the point. We are all human beings filled with flaws and imperfections. And although most of us probably already know this, many of us forget it quite easily. It's much easier to look at someone else and see their flaws than it is to look at ourselves and see our own.

By no means am I trying to make anyone feel guilty, as I understand it does take quite a bit of time and some SERIOUS effort to change the way we grew up to think. There's a craptonne of conditioning we go through as we're growing up that we may not even be aware affected us. Most of us won't even be able to undo that conditioning throughout the course of our lives, but I think the first step is to become self aware. Understand yourself so you can understand others better. As Gandhi so eloquently summed it up "you must BE the change you wish to see in the world". If you understand what it is you feel when you feel pain, why it's there, where it came from, your eyes may open enough to be able to feel the pain of others, to be able to know how much talking shit and judging people adds to so many of this worlds problems. How our egos are potentially the source of all suffering in this world. They say money is the root of all evil, but I don't believe that's the case. I think the real root is our egos.

Some of the most beautiful, inspirational people in the world are ones that have had to endure a great deal of suffering. What I believe separates them from the rest of us is that they really know why they feel the way they do, that they are not to be blamed for the way they feel, and that neither is anyone else.

The reality is we don't know what anyone else has gone through in their lives, we only know our own pain, our own suffering. That, to me, is enough reason to cut others some slack. How can anyone say they know what anyone else has gone through? For all I know, if I lived the life of Robin Williams, for example - the exact same life, same mind, same experiences, same personality - I would have likely come to the same result. How does it make sense to judge others when we don't know what they've been through? Do you want to be the one to contribute to someone else's problems or do you want to be a part of the collective solution?

We can change only our individual selves, nobody else. If you want to be a part of the solution to end the stigma surrounding mental illness I believe it's got to start with the person you look at in the mirror every morning. Ask yourself why it is you choose to judge than to understand. Is it worth the momentary relief we have from our own pain to talk smack about someone else's? Why are we so weirded out by people who suffer from mental illness? Take one solid look at yourself and you'll realize we have a lot more in common than we really think. If we just choose to care instead of judge, this world would be a much better place for it.

Be the solution. Not the problem. Set your egos aside. What are they worth anyway?